My First Time: Buying a Pack of Cigarettes

Introducing our first column "My First Time." Where people anonymously share there stories of doing things for the first time. If you would like to anonymously submit to the column please let us know by emailing Here is the first time anonymous bought their first pack of Marlboro Reds.

I went to library to do homework. It was a Friday night. I was ready to be productive. I get to the library and I sit down and I suddenly become tired as fuck. But I walked all the way down here?! WHAT A WASTE OF TIME. I start to walk back and think holy shit, what a waste of time. So I get angry at myself and I also have to poop which makes me angrier. I’m angry like a piece of candy on Halloween. I start to walk back up the hill but then I think that I need something—a cigarette. I walk into U deli, and I say to the sweet woman working, “can I get a pack of Marlrbrrrllo?”

“Yes, what kind?”

“Um……the red ones.”

I also bought a lighter. Then I walked up the hill and smoked one but I thought they were a little too strong and hated myself more.


The end.